Maybe this is…

...my last post here. It feels like there are only a few things more I want to say, and here they are (although, if I come up with something else later from the dark passages of my misremembering brain I might add to): My biggest mental health problem probably always was loneliness. I have problems … Continue reading Maybe this is…

It transpires…

...that the reason for the years of ill health, one that has recently plagued more than is desirable, was, probably from the start of things, anxiety. How I wish someone in treatment had given me *that* diagnosis instead of all those others, so I could've started doing the work for my health that I am … Continue reading It transpires…

That who thinks of the past, poke them in the eye with a stick (Finnish proverb, badly translated)

Recently I've been losing my 'I'm a survivor, I'm gonna Destiny's Child it' feeling a bit. Well, a lot. I am constantly surrounded by smart, young people at work. Those people seem to have life worked out at a much younger age than I ever did and seem (on the outside) to have had a … Continue reading That who thinks of the past, poke them in the eye with a stick (Finnish proverb, badly translated)

Trial by fire of P the recoveree (is this a word?)

We live in exceptional times. The fact that we manage to dress ourselves in the morning is an achievement in these times. But I guess the humanimal is an adaptive and inventive species and we do come up with tricks and tips to move forward, move on. I continue living, breathing and eating too. This … Continue reading Trial by fire of P the recoveree (is this a word?)

Expert-ease

Wednesday this week, another recovery anniversary...ooh, they're becoming so casual. Treated my work community to a small potted daffodil (it's spring y'all!) and had a rum&coke in the evening (and expressed sadness towards my man-friend who hadn't understood my rather explicit hinting at 'plz get me flowers for my celebratory day'). You can see from … Continue reading Expert-ease

Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body…I don’t know…

....except I do think I do. Ladies and other folk, time for a classic 'I started my post with a Smiths quote' moment, it's been too long. Today, dear reader, I would like to, perhaps yet again, talk about the amaxing power of our somatic side (ie the thing we call the body), and how … Continue reading Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body…I don’t know…

The phases of recovery, so far

One really doesn't know, when recovery is 'finished', when you've never been through recovery. On the last day of 2019 I observe the following: my recovery has moved so far in three phases, liberally translated from well-loved Finnish 'catch-phrases' of the ED treatment scene: 1. permission to be happy 2. hunger for life 3. I … Continue reading The phases of recovery, so far